The Secret Stand Up of Alex Mac

I am hard pressed to write something more than  "This Sucks".  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is not completely unentertaining. The problem is that  the movie is so unpolished that it is hard to see through the layers of grime to figure out where any of the shiny spots might be. Expectations should not be too high. After all we are dealing with the same Michael Bay, high budget, explosion-thon that we are accustom to by now. Which should not be enough to damn a movie given that it has a sufficiently interesting story and invested actors. Take, for instance, Bay's work on The Rock.

Transformers main problem is that the plot cannot decide what it wants. At one minute, Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox are arguing about their love life and within 2 minutes, they love each other again. At one moment, the government is crippled by the bureaucratic fingers of a boorish Senator and in the next, it would seem that it is standard protocol to flout all orders as each and every soldier ignores the President's directives. Indeed, the movie sets up mini conflicts for a couple of minutes before resolving them with little fanfare, moving on the the next action piece without batting an eye. The main conflict (stop bad guys before they turn on sun-blowy-upper-gun) is resolved with a two minute fight thanks to plot-device ex machina. Granted, before that plot device, we are treated to 30-40 minutes of the loudest, most drawn out Pyrrhic battle in the history of ever but that means nothing because there is no tension. The film drags out the moments of tension far too long, with the only exception being an amazingly epic battle between Optimus Prime and about every other Decepticon left on Earth. That was actually really cool.

Everything else is trite. The acting isn't worth commenting because there really isn't any. LeBeouf manages to give some type of force gravitas to his character but it is misplaced on a downright absurd and confusing story. This may be simple Hollywood fare but other movies this summer have  pull it off much better.

Bottom Line: This movie makes no sense. Cool looking but fucking unintelligible. What more can I say?