The Secret Stand Up of Alex Mac

Final Letter Grade: A

Final Letter Grade: D

Final Letter Grade: A

Final Letter Grade: D+

Final Letter Grade: C

Final Letter Grade: A-

 The X-Men were a large part of my childhood. On Saturday mornings, I would excitedly watch the animated series. Summer vacations on the beach were usually accompanied with a quick stop at the corner store to buy an issue of the comic book. For a kid, there was nothing better. It was simple. It was exciting. I didn’t understand the themes or social commentary. I didn’t need to. I was a kid. All I needed to know was that there was a bad guy who was going to do a bad thing and the good guys were going to stop him. Superheroes and super villains. My X-Men action figures battled alongside G.I. Joe. They helped the Ninja Turtles stop the Shredder. Basically, they were the shit.

And out of all of them, there was on who was a certified badass. Even when next to people who could shoot lasers out of the face, teleport, or throw exploding cards. That badass mutha’ fucka was Wolverine. He was mean. He was violent. He was Canadian. Oh, yeah! And he had claws. Metal claws! There is a lot of nerd back-story here, some that I know and some that I have no clue about. I am not a comic book reader but I am enough of an X-Men fan to know the basics. Wolverine can heal from almost any wound, was part of a government program to create an indestructible soldier, and basically shits glory. When the X-Men movies came out, Hugh Jackman (aka “Huge Jacked Man”) gave a performance was right on par with everyone’s expectations. It was only a matter of time that this hero, who was essentially the main focus of the X-Trilogy (though, I tend to ignore the fact that X3 was ever made), got his own spin off film.

Enter X-Men Orgins: Wolverine, the first of many high octane summer-ish actions movies and potentially the first major flop of 2009 despite a large opening weekend. The story goes as such: we are introduced to a young Wolverine before the events of the X-Trilogy. The first time he got his powers, his long life of constant battle in almost every major war, his time with government black ops Team X, how he got his metal skeleton, and his life on the run from the government. Along the way, we are met with old faces and new ones in a plot that quickly goes from interesting to downright…well, comic bookish.

The main problem is not the source material or necessarily the actual story as a whole but its presentation. Wolverine suffers from major writing problems. Name a cliché. Any cliché. It is in the movie. Some would argue that gives it some semblance of campy charm but that is foolish to suggest. Wolverine is trying hard to be taken seriously as a movie. And it cannot succeed. The writing and dialogue are just downright bad. We are given so little reason to care about the characters that there is no investment in the story whatsoever. Doubly so for comic book nerds who will essentially bitch and moan about every little thing. “Why are Wolverine and Sabretooth brothers?” “Deadpool wasn’t like that in the comic book!” “Why doesn’t Gambit have a Cajun accent?!” We get it comic book nerds. It was different. Deal with it.

These concerns pale in comparison to the fact that Wolverine has serious pacing issues with various plot pieces that barely space out the time between fight scenes. On that topic however, the fight scenes are one of the few things that this movie does right. At least most of the time. There are a few really cool moments, particularly in the movies final three way brawl between Wolverine, Sabretooth, and Weapon XI. The opening gets credit too for taking the ensemble cast of Team X characters and giving each a moment to shine.

However, some of these cool comic book moments are marred by special effects that sometimes look like something done on a television budget. A particularly egregious example has Wolverine inspect his new metal claws in a mirror. In a moment that could easily be done practically, we are treated to some of the worst CGI claws ever. They look like something Judge Doom would have used at the end of Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Now this is not to say that some moments are not genuinely cool. Gambit’s kinetic energy effects are sick, especially when used to devastate an entire back alley.

If Wolverine has anything going for it, it is the fact that it is very well cast. Hugh Jackman is Wolverine and gives his performance a respectful treatment of the character. Ryan Reynolds is the perfect choice for the wise cracking mercenary Wade Wilson, albeit underutilized. Replacing Brian Cox as the villainous Col. William Stryker is Danny Huston. Best known for his work on John Adams, Huston plays a realistic villain who carries a suitable amount of weight and purpose. However, the standout is Leiv Schreiber, who lights up the screen as the amoral Sabretooth. It is clear that he is enjoying the chance to play a comic book villain. And that is the best part: when an actor has fun, the audience has fun as well. Rounding out the cast is Taylor Kitsch, who gives a good performance as Gambit even if the plot demands him for all of 5 minutes, and Dominic Monaghan as a sympathetic former soldier turned circus performer. The only odd man out is will.i.am, who should never be in movies. Ever. No matter how many songs he writes about Obama.

And this is the most painful thing about Wolverine. With such a strong cast, all that was needed was a decent story and they would do the rest. This is partially the case here but you can only give them so much garbage before they can only make it stink less.

Final Letter Grade: D+

Bottom Line: Casual viewers will enjoy this movie if they simply are looking for a pop-corn flick. With the occasionally cool fight scene and invested actors, there is enough to make this watchable. Comic book nerds will decry deviations from the established canon.

I am at a loss at how to proceed with this review. Not because I am speechless, that is for certain. I have quite a bit to say. The issue when one has so much to say is that they often do not know where to begin or how to say everything they want. And perhaps that is the largest flaw present in Watchmen. Alan Moore's graphic novel is so multilayered, so intensely deep an exploration of the medium and themes which he is interested in, that the translation to film cannot be a simple one. Indeed, Watchmen was the only graphic novel to appear on Time's 2005 list of "the 100 best English-language novels from 1923 to the present". A list which included authors from George Orwell to Joseph Heller, Thornton Wilder to Anthony Burgess.

Watchmen as a graphic novel, is a stark deconstruction of the medium. With traditional expectations continually subverted and character archetypes that run counter to those usually found within the world of text bubbles and art panels. Moore ( also the mind behind the political tale V for Vendetta) specifically structured his plot to the method in which it would be presented. How does one, then, translate that specific artistic sensabilty to an entirely new medium? The Wachowski Brothers attempted this with their film adaptation of V for Vendetta and the result was mixed at best. What we got was a relevent tale in a post 9-11, Bush administration world. What we did not get was Moore's vision. Indeed, the film was such a slap in the face to Moore that he personally abducted all rights to his share of money from any film based off one of his works.

The answer was to recruit a director who had garnered acclaim for faithful comic book adaptations. Coming off the success of 300, director Zack Snyder took up the helms. I often find myself torn in opinion over Snyder. He is clearly a a highly effective visual artist, as 300 demonstrated and is able to treat his subject material with due respect as seen in his remake of Dawn of the Dead. However, looking back, I was blinded by the visual spectacle of 300 so much that I initially thought it was a good film when in reality it was a horrible, mindless piece of shit. Perhaps it was because better work had been done with Frank Miller's material in Sin City by Robert Rodriguez. Maybe the source material was just stronger in general. But look at 300: it was awful. Effective only visually. So, I feared that Snyder was only a capable visual artist because he was copying the visual art of others.

I must say that Watchmen dissuaded my fears and proved that Snyder is indeed able to use the promise he showed during Dawn of the Dead to make a well paced and intriguing film.

Which is no small task given the amount of material to cover. Clocking in at 163 minutes, Watchmen is not for the easily bored or those who may have thought the film was primarily an action piece. Fans will be captivated by the image of their favorite characters on the screen, while neophytes to the story might not fully follow. Let it be made clear: Watchmen, at its heart, is a character piece. A morality tale examining various ideologies. Expect your excitement to be tempered by expository examination into characters' origins, ways of thinking, and more.

And what a tale it is: set in an alternate history USA where masked heroes were a reality (until banned by the government), Nixon is in his fifth term after we triumphed in Vietnam, and the Cold War never really ended, Watchmen is part political thriller, part Raymond Chandler film noir, and part superhero movie. When Edward Blake (AKA The Comedian, a masked enforcer working for the US government. Played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is killed, rogue vigilante Rorschach (played by Jackie Earle Haley) heads up an investigation into who may have killed his fellow masked man. The search leads him deep into a world inhabited by former masked heroes, imminent nuclear war, and more. As all involved cope with humanity's race toward self destruction, it becomes clear that Blake's death is only part of a devious plot which will have global consequences.

In this tale, we are presented with 6 heroes (or are they villians?) who provide us with various ideological approaches with regards to how to save the world from thermonuclear conflict. The Comedian is a vicious, amoral enforcer who claims to be saving society "from themselves." He represent hedonism, reflecting the amorality he observes in society by parodying it. Jeffrey Morgan manages to give this character an amazingly sympathetic performance, painting a picture of a man torn by inner demons as he fights society on its own perverse terms. The outstanding cast member is Jackie Earle Haley as the masked investigator, Rorschach. His Rorschach fluctuates from hyper moral, conservative vigilante to a man who is clearly harboring a wealth of internal pain. He creates a distinct gruffness to his character when wearing his mask and a quiet intensity to the times when he is without his "face." Rorschach might be the most interesting of the "normal" individuals in the story. Fed up with the perversion in society, he does not add to the chaos like Blake but punishes all evil without question. Rorschach is the living embodiment of moral absolutism, a sociopathic enforcer of justice for whom all that matters in choice. Once you choose to commit crime, you are nothing more than filth to him, a black stain on society which must be wiped clean. Haley turns in an well nuanced interpretation, embracing Rorschach's darkness while also making his stance seem like one of the best to take. You can only admire his resolve and sympathize with his ideology even if it is one of the most violent and downright psychotic. Much of what he does is right, but his uncompromising conservatism also makes him often very wrong.

Adrian Veidt (played by Matthew Goode) is the supposedly the world's smartest man. His character is an embodiment of utilitarianism. Doing the most amount of good for the most amount of people. Goode is not the strongest actor but he does manage to carry the proper sadness in his character, who is essentially a consequentialist. Veidt (also know as Ozymandias) is not a starkly vicious character like The Comedian or Rorschach. He is a man with inner demons who wants to unite the world. All these characters are relatable, but lack the normalcy of Nite Owl and Silk Spectre (played by Patrick Wilson and Malin Akerman). Nite Owl is a man past his prime, for whom his costumed alter ego was a means to instill confidence in himself. Spectre carries with her the expectations of an overbearing mother who wanted her to follow hi her footsteps to fight crime. Both these characters are the most real. They are idealistic, as most of us would like to be. They are a mouthpiece for the common man and they are portrayed well by their actors, even if Akerman comes off as one of the weakest actors.

However, the most interesting character is Dr. Manhattan. he is the only real superhero in the piece. A man who after a freak accident, acquires god-like powers. He can bend matter to his will, teleport, and sees his own past and future non linearly. Detached from humanity due to his powers, he is decidedly nihilistic. Portrayed ( i.e. voiced and motion captured) by Billy Crudup, he is given the proper amount of coldness.


Watchmen, through these unique characters, presents a tightly woven story. Much credit must go to Alan Moore but equally to writers David Hayter and Alex Tse for such a reverent adaptation. Purist will find plenty to complain about and newcomers will likely get lost. Repeat viewings are warranted. And that might be the largest problem here: the story is simply too much to present concisely in film. The acting is strong with a few weak points and the visuals are downright astounding. However, these will not make up for excessive length in the minds of some viewers. As advised, enter prepared for exposition and be ready to process the information given to you. If you are looking for a more intellectual story, this is it. But be warned: Dark Knight it ain't.

Final Letter Grade: B+

Bottom Line: Watchmen is deeply thought provoking piece and strong adaptation of a difficult to translate source material. Visually amazing, the film is rounded out by actors who are invested in their characters, even if the talent level varies. Those put off by Snyder's atrocious 300 might find that this film provides something different and might help to re legitimize his reputation as a fresh, young director. Those expecting a flashy action movie will get their moments but this might be one to stay away from, even with the explosions and broken bones. You will enjoy it or downright hate it. View with caution, understanding that you will be in for a long and wordy ride. Especially if you are unfamiliar with the source material.

Let's immediately jump in this one. If you have not seen this movie and are reading this, what the fucking Christ on a pogo stick is wrong with you? Stop reading the self important blog of your nobody friend and go see this movie.

We've all heard the buzz behind The Dark Knight for months now. The production has been one of the most anticipated sequels ever. And why shouldn't it be? Batman Begins was not only just a good superhero movie but also a good film so naturally the film would be eagerly awaited. When Heath Ledger tragically died, the curiousity around the film only escalated: What would his final onscreen role be like? And while there is much to discuss on that front, we must all be careful not to let our sentimentality blind us from the full package that is The Dark Knight. There is so much to discuss in this one little film from all the characters to the very tone and feel of the movie itself. The Dark Knight is loaded to the brim.

Firstly, it is a wonderfully woven tapestry of madness and crime. The movie opens with a fantastic heist that does not even begin to fully communicate the downright anarchy that will soon rain down upon Gotham city. But that is still neither here nor there because The Dark Knight is far more than explosions and gunplay, and believe me, there is plenty of both. The Dark Knight is a crime drama with one of the best games of cat and mouse ever captured on film, only in this case the mouse is far more deadly. It is also a morality tale. At the center of this thread are not just Batman and Lt. Gordon but also Harvey Dent, Gotham's newest DA. These three men are some of the only real upstanding heroes in a town ever full of crime. And while I am not saying that Batman and his alter ego Bruce Wayne doesn't have his share of troubles and deep rooted issues, it is really Harvey Dent whose character arc is the most compelling and tragic. All three champions of justice undergo their own trials as they go about their vow to make Gotham safe. They seem to be able to handle anything. Anything except the unpredictable Joker...

So now we get to it: Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker. Is it really worth all of the buzz and Oscar talk that he is getting? Without a doubt. The Joker is such a finely crafted character that every time you see him on screen you will be as captivated as you are genuinely afraid of such a man. Certainly, The Joker will make you laugh but nothing he does is funny. The Joker is a beast of pure instinct and improvisation. He delights in brutality and revels in violence. He is a twisted genius whose only purpose is to drag everyone down to his level of wickedness. Ledger portrays the role in perfect harmony with the film's dark tone.

But it is not just Heath Ledger's moment to shine. The majority of the cast nails their characters with skilled aplomb. Christian Bale is Batman. His character holds a great deal of duality and weight to him, something other Batmans lacked (Michael Keaton came the closest before now). Bruce Wayne is a world weary man who constantly has to wear two masks: that of Batman and the even heavier one of a normal person. Bale shines more when he is not wearing the mask, during the moments when the consequences of his actions are exposed for all to see. That is not to discount his superhero chops. Bale's Batman is shrewd, daring, and a downright brutal fighter. Michael Caine is ever solid as Wayne's faithful butler Alfred. The best part about Caine's Alfred is just how much more self assured he is than any other portrayal of the character. He doesn't hesitate to berate his master and offer words of wisdom. He is Bruce's confidante and father figure, looking out for the overwhelmed vigilante with a quiet and composed love. Morgan Freeman does what he can with Lucius Fox. Freeman give the character just enough nuances, which is good since the character was a little flat in Batman Begins. This is remedied in The Dark Knight by giving just enough plot points involving Lucius and giving his character an actual, albeit small character arc. Indeed the only weak link in the cast is Ms. Maggie Gyllenhaal, who only phones in a passable performance as Rachel Dawes. One wonders is Katie Holmes could have done a better job if she was not too busy being Tom Cruises house slave. Probably just as crappy. Oh yes, Anthony Michael Hall shows up in a role that really could have been done by anyone as well.

Last but not least, I must mention Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent. I cannot delve too much into detail here, but needless to say he portray the journey his character goes on much more than just skillfully. This film is just as much about him as it is about Batman and the Joker.

The film is dark. The screenplay is amazingly well done. Death and violence is commonplace with some major characters both put in downright agonizing situation and some being killed altogether. The Joker orchestrates a series of brutal events. Two Words: Magic Trick. You'll know what I'm talking about after you've seen the movie. Chris Nolan holds nothing back as he leads us deeper and deeper into the darkness with our heroes and villains. It does have some flaws: the movie is a little long and I thought there could have been better use of music is some scenes but that is not really too important.

Final Letter Grade: A+

Bottom Line: Go. See. It.

Ah, the summer action movie. Since the dawn of man there has not been a better definition of the term "glorious trainwreck". Like clockwork, each year directors, actors and production companies scramble to each get a slice of the wonderful pie that is the summer blockbuster. In a nation where 10% of students have ADD and where 60% of these students will continue to have the affliction throughout adulthood, this means a few things:

High octane action, gunplay, and explosions

Painful attempts to seem cool and badass

Ass

A light frosting of "story"



Enter Wanted, the latest foray into the cluttered junkyard of glorious train wrecks. It is a movie so self aware and so full of itself that my ticket came with a complementary vial of director Timur Bekmambetov's own semen, taken during one of the film's many preview screenings as he screamed "Mein Fuhrer, I can valk!". Wanted is an overly ambitious film to say the least and while it does manage to deliver on many levels, it also manages to roll the audience’s collective eye no more than two seconds after said inspired moments. This is a film for people who know nothing about film. This is a film for people who think Tim Burton is a good director. This is a film for people who think that just because a film strives to be offbeat and stylistic, it actually is. If loved Shoot em Up then you should hop on board.

Wanted tells the tale of one Wesley Gibson (James McAvoy), a normal office worker with a shitty life. His fat boss Janice makes work a living hell, his best friend is fucking his girlfriend, and he suffers from horrible panic attacks. He's pretty much living out the American Dream. His life takes a twist when he gets caught up in a gunfight between two assassins, one of whom is the absolutely worthless Angelina Jolie. As it turns out, Wesley is the son of a master assassin and has inherited his father's talent for popping heads open with all the subtlety a bullet can deliver. He joins the Fraternity of Assassins and is assigned by its leader, Sloan (Morgan Freeman) to assassinate a traitor.

The rest of the film is a cliche-fest that feels like a 12 year olds anime fan fiction. Predictable betrayals and revelations are presented as if no one had ever heard the quote "No. I am your father." But that's not why anyone bothered to go and see this movie anyway so why don't we just leave it at that?

Wanted's greatest strengths are the many moments in the film where it is actually funny. The early scenes of Wesley's day to day life are wonderful. A decidedly dry narration contrast with the downright shitty-ness that is Wesley's existence. Additionally, the minor characters in the film are just colorful enough to really add some spice. Unfortunately that is about it. That is not to say the acting is not good. McAvoy puts in a good showing as Wesley, capturing the initial loser his character is and transforming nicely into a time slowing, miracle working master assassin. Likewise, it is good to see Morgan Freeman play another criminal especially after recently seeing Lucky Number Slevin once again. However, one seems to get the feeling that anyone could have done the role and that Freeman is mostly used because many in the audience will snort all of their cinema-bar food from their noses once they get to hear him say "Mothafucka".

"But what of Little Angie Jolie?", one asks. What of her? I must have missed the memo where we all decided that she was talented. Is there anyone in the world who is more overrated that Ms. Jolie whose name is not "Jesus" or "Mohammed"? "But didn't she win an Oscar?", you say? What of it?! I've yet to see a good showing from this woman. Besides, her role in the movie is summed up by criteria #3 on my list above. Ass! You get to see her ass! That is all.

Also, when was it decided that all action scenes have to have painfully shaky camera work? I honestly blame Christopher Nolan and whoever the DP was for Batman Begins.

Overall, Wanted is a good movie to see if you really crave popcorn and hand guns. It is much like Smokin' Aces. It tries too hard to be cool. Ooooh, assassins! Ooooh, a chick whose name is Fox! Ooooh, another generic thing! Some funny moments and a stellar final action sequence do not save this movie from being sub par but they do make it just watchable enough.

Final Letter Grade: D-

Bottom Line: Flashy action scenes are a sight to behold, even as this movie cripples your brain with idiocy.