The Secret Stand Up of Alex Mac

13 shows. 13 states. 13 days. For any comedian the task sounds like a daunting one. For Doug Benson and Graham Elwood, it is the reality of the Medical Marijuana Tour. The tour, conceived by everyone’s favorite Pot comic, takes the pair to every state that currently allows medical marijuana: Alaska, California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Michigan, Montana, Nevada, New Mexico, Oregon, Rhode Island, Vermont, and Washington. Starting off in the nation’s smallest bastion of medical marijuana, Rhode Island, the tour’s first show took place at Lupo’s Heartbreak Hotel in Providence.

For all my love of alternative comedy, I never have really been to what could be considered an “alternative” show. All of my previous stand up comedy experiences have been at theaters or clubs. And even with the case of less traditional clubs like Mottley’s, there has always been a lack of that inexpressible je ne sais quoi that I had felt seeing clips of my favorite comedians at places like Largo or the UCB theater. While I don’t really think the venue makes a huge difference in the enjoyment of a comedy show, after seeing Doug Benson and Graham Elwood at Lupo’s I can speak to the interesting sense of informality that such a venue offers instead of more traditional ones. Lupo’s is a large venue, best suited to an appearance by Collective Soul, AFI, or a host of other rock bands. Somehow, the contrast between the sprawling venue and the comedians only served to make the event seem more like a special secret that the audience members had stumbled upon, a private show for those who had the good sense to seek it out.

No one in the audience last night did not know what they were in for. It was a crowd of fans attending a show for fans. The air before the show was palpable with anticipation and excitement. For all of its lack of size, the audience made the night an amazing success due to their overwhelming enthusiasm. In fact, the only person in the audience who seemed out of a place was an old man who asked me to move a chair for him…at least until I eventually found out that he was Graham Elwood’s dad. The only poor thing before the show was the delay. The show, meant to start at 8PM, was delayed for fifteen minutes as the house held to let more people into the audience. Throughout all of this, I was able to see backstage from my seat in the front. Tiny glimpses of Elwood and Benson taunted me as I waited for the show to begin.

When it did, however, it was a show to remember! A quick introduction by Benson launched us into a whirlwind set by Graham Elwood full of yellow belt palm strikes and Eddie Vedder riffs as he scaled the side speakers singing “Even Flow”. A couple of longer bits included recounting attempts to snowboard and being tricked by soldiers in the Middle East. Throughout the set, Elwood never slowed down and showed a frantic pacing that was masterful in the places where it slowed down. A continuous wave of laughter washed over the crowd as Elwood roamed the stage. A particularly strong riff had to do with Rhode Island’s law which legalizes prostitution as long as it is under a roof (“As long as you have a musket, you can take another man’s property!”). All in all, Elwood was more than just an amazing warm up to Benson’s set but gave an amazing set worth the ticket price in and of itself.

Following this, it was Benson’s turn to take the stage (“My name is Doug Benson and I am here to recruit you!”). Performing a great deal of material from his most recent CD, Unbalanced Load and a little from Professional Humoredian. Benson was in top form, obviously excited for the start of his tour and fully ready to stray into various riffs and bits of audience interaction when he felt the desire to. The highlight of the night was a new riff about a show Benson did for deaf people, which eventually ended with the creation of a new word (inspired by the sign language of his interpreter): “hand cunt”. Doug proceeded to write down this new joke for later use. Interactions with a high couple up front throughout the show led to Jim Gaffigan like audience voices. But while the highlight of the night, joke wise, was “hand cunt” then the biggest change was his decision to do his cleanest joke (“I was a dog with a sign that said “I bite”…) and his dirtiest (“…and grandma is fingering herself?”) at the same time. Alternating between the two jokes, the audience was treated to a weird Mab Libs like presentation that had us all rolling on the floor. This ended the night with a suitable bang.

After the show, the two comedians could not have been nicer, mingling with the crowd and chatting about various things. I offer Graham a quick “Bag ‘o corn, friend!” and he immediately returned it and started chatting with me for a fair amount of time. Before I left, I was able to sneak a picture with both of the comedians: a small souvenir of an amazing night of comedy and an amazing first show to the Medical Marijuana Tour.

My new mission in life is to prevent scurvy. It is known by many names. Barlow's disease. Cheadle's disease. Moeller's disease. Pirate AIDs. Miami’s Black Plague. That thing that is up with Edward James Olmos’ skin. The point is that Scurvy is also known by a new name: swine flu. We brought it upon ourselves by not feeding enough limes to our pigs. To combat this threat we must be prepared for tangy bacon, bitter bologna, and sour ham hocks! 

 The utterance of these names has caused men more brave than I and robots programmed with no emotion to scream like a marsupial that had discovered that he has no pouch. “Where will I put all my chewing gum, condoms, and various trinkets?!” he cries out to the cold and foreboding world. “And why do I suddenly have Scorbutic gums and Psoraisiform hyperplasia?”

The answer is surprisingly simple. Ye doth need more Vitamin-C in yer diet! There are multiple things that you can eat which will prevent Scurvy and get you all of your required daily dosage of Vitamin-C.  All of which can be found in your local supermarché! Lemons, Limes, Oranges, Grapefuits, other people who don’t have Scurvy. With enough money, you can purchase any of these things. Or with enough guile you can steal them. Or with a high enough persuasion skill and a skill check, you may be able to convince someone to give them to you. This last option is particularly easier if you have a bear on a chain or a gun that can shoot flaming tires. Nothing says “Help me or die!” like a bear on a chain or flaming tires!

But wait! Isn’t Scurvy a problem for people on ships and large Spanish galleons adrift on the Triangle Trade? We don’t use boats anymore. Those were clumsy and random. Cars are the transportation for a more civilized age. Well, you would be right. We no longer do our slave trading by boat but by cars! Specifically vans and trucks. But if you add a sail to any of those, they begin to look awfully like a boat. So, fill you gas tank with oranges! And slaves (or indentured servants)! Kill two birds with one small, cramped compartment! If anyone objects, hit them with your oranges! Problem solved. They don’t even leave bruises. Why should you listen to me when I am obviously mad? Because I look good in a pair of Ray-Bans and can name at least three different types of cheeses, that’s why! I look better than Tom Cruise did in Top Gun and I know what parmesan is! Which is apparently all that is required for a PhD these days.

-Dr. Alex Mac. DDS

A while ago I did an interview with Rob Delaney regarding an upcoming show of his in Boston. Well, Rob has been busy since then and recently came out with this Mass based Mad Men parody which also features New Kid on the Block Joey McIntyre!It is doing really well at FunnyorDie.com. Rob asked me to share this all with you. Watch and enjoy!

For as long as I've been going to the Boston Comedy Festival, there has always been Lewis Black. In 2005, Black (along with a separate show by Denis Leary) hosted "Lewis Black and Friends". The show featured, in addition to Black, locals like Kenny Rogerson. My memory is notoriously bad but I distinctly recall that the night was superbly enjoyable. As a long time fan of Black's and the Boston comedy scene, I was enthralled. Not only was I seeing a major comedian who I enjoyed but I was also seeing some of the people who made Boston so notable during the 80's Boom. After that, I recall Black's role being a bit less noticeable. The next year, he was one of the host of the final rounds of the comedy competition. The next, a judge himself. Hearing his laugh come from the balcony was the comedy equivalent of hearing Waldof and Statler crowing from the balcony on the Muppet Show. It only served to heighten the mood.

I've seen Lewis perform at multiple venues since then and have always been thoroughly entertained. I sometimes think that Black gets a hard rap from those who consider themselves comedy purist. Often he is boiled down to a caricature: a loud mouthed comedian whose only gimmick and selling point is his loud mouth. Even Jimmy Pardo, one of my favorites and the quintessential comic's comic, has decried those who enjoyed Black and his "political humor." However, I feel that dismissal sells Black short. Black is more insightful than given credit and his stage persona does this introspection a disservice. His books, Nothing's Sacred and Me of Little Faith, give a more complete view of how his life affected his comedy and perspective.

I had originally wanted to cover the festival competition but venue changes prevented that. I'm only 20 and while I might be able to get into the clubs to do shows, getting in as a spectator is a bit trickier. With few options, I decided to see Black once again. Honestly, I was a little burned out on seeing him but I knew that I would still have a mostly enjoyable night.

Black performed at the Wang Theater, a space often reserved for touring shows like the Lion King or Les Miserables. Situated next to the Wilbur Theater (the now home of the Comedy Connection), it is a place you are more likely to be attacked by spooks than anything else. Maybe it is just me but I've never liked the atmosphere of a big theater compared to a club setting. Most would probably agree with me. Climbing up to the highest part of the balcony, I was treated with a nosebleed and vertigo. So far, so good.

Black's opening act is, and has been for years, John Bowman. Bowman, in contrast to the times that I have seen him, was a whirling dervish of inconsistency. His start was exceedingly slow, full of half thoughts and incomplete bits. Vague thoughts about product placement and televisions control over our lives felt more like someone trying too hard to channel the spirit of Hicks and other social artbiters. Bowman picked up when he moved into less pointed material including a long riff about KFC/Taco Bell. Closing off with a bizarre commentary on the Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney song "The Girl is Mine", Bowman used the recent death of Senator Ted Kennedy to build up to the bit, musing about how many when many people die, the good they do is remember and not the bad. You could cut the tension in the air with a sword before Bowman revealed that he was talking about Jackson. After all, Kennedy's funeral had taken place in Boston that day. It was a nice example of how tension before a punchline can really accomplish a whole lot. Overall, Bowman had a few moments of comedic clarity but gave what was, at best, an average showing.

A 15 minute intermission and it is Black's turn. Immediately, he is off to an interesting start when a heckler begins to dispute his claim on the fact that the economy has gone down 20 percent. The heckler, who I will refer to now on as Skippy, claims that it is closer to 40. Black proceeds to verbally castrate Skippy who cannot understand that he may be incorrect. Black wonderfully explains that "he is the one making up the numbers tonight!" Skippy, I can only assume, hung himself later that evening.

Black doesn't start with much more politicizing than to playfully suggest that if the economy is 20 percent down, the audience's expectations should be down that much as well. Instead, he launches into an amazingly funny story about having to do comedy after Vince Gil performed with his wife Amy Grant (who was so pure that she was "made out of cream"). Black is a better story teller than anything else and paints a great picture of how Gill's music made him feel like he was "in a bath tub with the perfect temperature" and how having to follow that as a "jaded, fuckin' Jew" was one of the worst decisions a booker has ever made. The story was great and really cemented the idea that Black is at his best when relaying personal anecdotes.

What followed was mostly political but in a more direct way than I've ever seen Black address things. Talking about legalizing pot, Black was less of a commentator and more of a pusher of an agenda. You got the sense that Black felt that he was getting older and had less patience than ever. It was oddly refreshing to see him be even more vicious than ever. His material had an edge that he had lacked, especially in recent album Anticipation, which was a halfhearted effort at best. This time, Black was so indignant, so cutting that it was like watching the last fight of a great boxer. The topics shifted to healthcare and a honest appraisal of Ted Kennedy's role in the debate which really hit home in Boston on the day of his funeral. You could feel the audience's reverence for the Senator as Black discussed how healthcare and the debate for it would now suffer with his loss.

It might have seemed like standard Black affair if not for these things, his genuine anger and ability to use recent developments to shape his arguments. Black has clearly overcome his previous slump and used his age to add a sense of urgency to his voice. Suddenly, it seemed a lot more personal. And that made it a lot more funny.

Overall, the night was great, even with a few low points. Black had generate a lot more new material, his whole act was new. His tone had shifted ever so slightly and he laid to rest any doubts in my mind that he was beating a dead stick with a horse.

This year at college, I participated in the Providence Film Festival and acted in a student directed film called "The Complementary Pie." Being used to the stage, I was interested working infront of anything that resembled a real film with mics and lighting. My acting was broad and really not that good, as used to I was to the larger world of the stage. The end result was nonsensical and fun. Now, we have a collection of outtakes from the movie. Some of which are fun, all of which make me cringe when I watch myself and my oddly emotionless yet campy facial expressions. Allow me to share my embarrassment, and maybe a few chuckles with you. Please enjoy my troll like physique and numerous ugly haircuts in the video below:

I am hard pressed to write something more than  "This Sucks".  Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is not completely unentertaining. The problem is that  the movie is so unpolished that it is hard to see through the layers of grime to figure out where any of the shiny spots might be. Expectations should not be too high. After all we are dealing with the same Michael Bay, high budget, explosion-thon that we are accustom to by now. Which should not be enough to damn a movie given that it has a sufficiently interesting story and invested actors. Take, for instance, Bay's work on The Rock.

Transformers main problem is that the plot cannot decide what it wants. At one minute, Shia LeBeouf and Megan Fox are arguing about their love life and within 2 minutes, they love each other again. At one moment, the government is crippled by the bureaucratic fingers of a boorish Senator and in the next, it would seem that it is standard protocol to flout all orders as each and every soldier ignores the President's directives. Indeed, the movie sets up mini conflicts for a couple of minutes before resolving them with little fanfare, moving on the the next action piece without batting an eye. The main conflict (stop bad guys before they turn on sun-blowy-upper-gun) is resolved with a two minute fight thanks to plot-device ex machina. Granted, before that plot device, we are treated to 30-40 minutes of the loudest, most drawn out Pyrrhic battle in the history of ever but that means nothing because there is no tension. The film drags out the moments of tension far too long, with the only exception being an amazingly epic battle between Optimus Prime and about every other Decepticon left on Earth. That was actually really cool.

Everything else is trite. The acting isn't worth commenting because there really isn't any. LeBeouf manages to give some type of force gravitas to his character but it is misplaced on a downright absurd and confusing story. This may be simple Hollywood fare but other movies this summer have  pull it off much better.

Bottom Line: This movie makes no sense. Cool looking but fucking unintelligible. What more can I say?